To be in love with the idea of someone.

I wonder about the things I wonder, very randomly.

You know what is sad? To be in love with the idea of a person. It’s funny how we tend to make scenarios in our heads. Someone might just do an act of kindness towards us, and in our minds, we have already imagined this person to be some godly figure. What is sad, is to know that once upon a time, this person was particularly nice to you, which is why you have such a good image of them in your head. And sometimes, this image has stuck so deep, however horribly they act towards you, you cannot really accept it because a part of you still believes them to be a super nice person. And you let them trample over you, mistreat you, and also get away with it, simply because, at the end of the day, a part of your brain keeps on reminding you that this person is a nice person. But in reality, they aren’t.

And isn’t it awful when this person just walks out of your life, but in your head, they’re still there. You know that in reality, they aren’t. But there’s a universe in your head, where everything that you want has happened, and this person is the person you imagined they’d be.

But when this person returns/if they return, you realize how contrasting they are, compared to what you’d imagined them to be. You feel that last flicker of hope die inside of you, as you come to realize that all this while, the person you imagined, was only ever alive in your imagination and nothing beyond that. The realization that your imagination can never become reality starts to kill this world that you built for yourself, within you. And sometimes, it does you a lot of good, simply by bringing you back to reality, by shattering the walls you built..

 

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