So, I skipped another Sunday, and it’s a good time to say I’m clearly bad at committing to this thing, like I’m at a lot of other things like exercising, eating healthy, practising singing daily, etc. Another thing I badly want to do and manage to let my laziness and fatigue get the best of me anyway. But hey, as I write this, my eyes are already shutting, but I’m here writing anyway because no, I don’t want to miss another Sunday. Sometimes, it feels like it’s been so long since I wrote, although I did so just yesterday in a journal.
There’s this thing that I had once read and I believe in- Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, and something good will come out of it. Honestly, if you had the courage to start something, if you had the courage to begin a venture, then you deserve to see it until the end. And sometimes, maybe you attempt something, and you don’t really know what you gained out of it, and that is fine too. Maybe sometimes, all you get out of doing something is the satisfaction of doing it, and sometimes that is good enough. And in the longer run, that is more than enough. Years later, you’re probably not going to remember who trusted you at that point, who didn’t, who was there for you, and who saw you accomplish something, etc. What will matter to you, is that you did it. You were scared, and nervous and worried and you went ahead and did it anyway. And there’s so much to be proud of in that simple moment. (The kind of motivation I need to get through finals week is right here, haha).
And then there are people. Certain people who do all these things for you, some things tiny, some things large, and maybe they don’t really realize how much it means to you, but it does. Sometimes you’re so used to being all by yourself, and your perpetual state of feeling nothing, it’s so weird to actually feel anything at all. And it’s all because of some other people’s actions? Aren’t they very much right about actions speaking louder than words?
And then there are people who can’t understand you. Certain people are always going to think that they know you well, they know what you’re probably thinking and feeling, but that doesn’t necessarily have to be true. You can try convincing them of your point, and if you’re lucky they’ll probably get it, but more often than not, it’s not the case. So it’s fine. Maybe they know you well, but at the end of the day, they’re their own person. And how much ever they try to understand you, their own ideas, thoughts, opinions, etc. is going to influence their perceptions of you. So it’s fine if they do not agree with what you think about your own self regarding something that probably matters to you. You can’t convince the whole world of everything and anything anyway.