Well, my absence over the past few weeks could possibly be explained by a busy few last weeks of the semester, followed by pure laziness after coming home.
Lately, I’ve come to realize how looked down upon it is to spend time by yourself. It’s like a person who can go out there, put themselves out there, make themselves accessible, is the kind of person to look up to, and is the only kind acceptable. At times, you could be sitting alone enjoying a snack or so, in some cafe, only to end up meeting some friend sooner or later who asks you why you’re sitting alone. Curiosity is fine, until it goes, “So sad..I’ll give you company.” There is nothing sad about being alone. Being alone doesn’t necessarily mean a feeling of loneliness has to be present. You can feel comfortable and at peace with your own company too. And honestly, as long as you’re fine with it, and do not feel the need to indulge in activities with others, to keep yourself occupied, it’s all good.
And sometimes, someone poses you with,”How will you find someone for yourself, if you continue acting like a loner?” Again, nothing wrong with enjoying being alone. Moreover, nothing wrong with believing the right person will eventually show up. Plus if you have to change things about yourself for someone, maybe that person isn’t the right one. Also, maybe you’ll not end up with anyone. But why is it so wrong? Again, why is the idea of being alone so wrong? Alone, can be independent too. The idea of finding someone, and not being alone is so glorified, we make people who are alone and at peace also question it at times. We make single people feel like they’re missing out on a lot. But when will we promote growth as an individual first? When will we promote knowing ourselves better, before going out and trying to get to know others more?
Trust and faith, are things that build over time. And sometimes, miscommunications and misunderstandings can easily ruin it in a matter of seconds. They rightfully say that Pen is mightier than Sword. And these words are knives that often leave scars(Panic! At the Disco, hehe), so sometimes you have to make wise choices with what you say. Impulsive decisions, and words that aren’t meant to be said can often create a lot of damage. And the trust and faith can collapse like Jenga blocks falling down slowly, and then it’s all on the floor. And now you have to take the efforts to build it all again.
First impressions of people can be so deceiving. So many people I’ve met, are nothing like what I thought they were when I first met them. But then, it’s also so hard to get that impression out of your head. Somewhere it’s there at the back of your head. Unless you’re very close to someone, and you know them too well, the impression you have of them stays. Like popular kids from school will always be nasty little bitches in my head forever (yes, very judgemental). And when you don’t know people well enough, and whatever knowledge you have of them is based off an impression you have of them, your initial feelings towards them also stay the same.